Why houseboating is better than sailing

I’ve spent a little time recently with a friend who is absolutely in love with sailing.  So, a few weeks ago we were talking about what is a better vacation, three days on a sailboat or three days on a houseboat.  In the spirit of both humor and a little sailor-bashing, here are Captain Jackson’s top 10 reasons that houseboating is better than sailing:

1. Sharks.  I saw “Open Water”.  No thanks.  For anyone older than 20, Jaws.

Jaws

Jaws

2. Engines are better than wind.  Forgive me for getting excited about a 350 V8 engine on a 56 foot boat, but knowing you can go in a straight line to your destination is awfully nice.

3. Waterfalls.  Show me a waterfall I can get to on a sailboat, I dare you.  (Okay, there is one in California at McWay Falls, but only one)

4. Sleeping quarters.  Getting into the galley on most sailboats requires spinal flexibility.  Ever try to stand up inside a sailboat?  No concussions for me, thanks.

5. Food.  I prefer my grills and full kitchens to the mini kitchen any day of the week.

6. Terminology.  It takes nearly 10 minutes to learn all houseboating terms.  Galley. Helm. Hot tub. Waterslide.  It takes learning another language to sail a boat on the open ocean.

7. The boom.  When winds change and you aren’t paying attention, watch out for a nice concussion or trip into the water when the bar connected to the mast comes swinging across the deck.  Ouch.

Sailboat Boom

Sailboat Boom

8. Sailors don’t make videos like this: Houseboats.com

9. The Titan. I hate to brag, but the biggest houseboat rental boat in the country can draw the eye of almost anyone. The boat has 3 stories, 6 flat screen TVs, and a water slide tube. I’ve never seen a sailboat with a waterslide. It seems that it might be cool if you could add a diving board off the top of the mast.

3 Story Titan Houseboats Galley

3 Story Titan Houseboats Galley

10. This T-shirt.  Only a sailor would get this.

I sail like a Candle T-Shirt

I sail like a Candle T-Shirt

This post is designed to be a little bit humorous, so any comments outside the spirit of fun will be dismissed.